Friday, January 24, 2014

Mouse War 2014: The Battle of Sink Cabinet

It is a difficult task to concentrate on your job throughout the week when your mind is many miles away. Sure, I may seem okay, but that is just a mask because my true thoughts this week were at home, on the battle field, to the war raging in the kitchen. Mouse War 2014 threatened to tear down the very core and beliefs of our home and what it stands for. As the mouse ran amuck throughout our house each day, the very fabric of our lives was beginning to pull, tear. With each passing day and empty trap, our hopes and dreams were beginning to splinter, teetering on the verge of irreparable. The discovery of the mouse happened Monday with the revelation of tiny mouse droppings under the kitchen sink. That discovery set in motion one of the most fierce and bitter battles the world has ever seen. It made the Battle of the Bulge look like a joyous family gathering in the meadow. Immediately upon discovery, I rallied the troops and placed four traps strategically throughout the kitchen. I was determined, focused. I laced each trap with peanut butter, thinking surely that feisty little bugger would not be able to resist the succulent taste of the creamy Jif. I awoke the first morning excited to end the battle after just one night. However, that sneaky little devil had made his way around to all four traps and licked every one clean. As I slept that night, dreaming of the common core, Google drive and sunsets, that mouse helped himself to quite the midnight snack. Undeterred, I retrieved each of the four traps and loaded them again with peanut butter. The next morning, I again sprang out of bed to see if the mouse had raised the white flag and again I saw nothing but four sparkling clean traps. Not a speck of peanut butter in sight. I could almost hear the laughter booming from wherever that mouse was hiding, deep within the cabinets. That taunting just fueled my inner drive to not give up and keep fighting, no matter the cost. During the evening, it seemed as if my eye would constantly catch a shadow darting across the floor or peaking out from a corner. I would snap my head around but see nothing. For my next plan of action, I decided to abandon the peanut butter method and go a different route. With "Safe and Sound" by Capital Cities blaring in my headphones, I jammed a piece of cheese into each trap and placed them in position. On the morning of the fourth day of the war, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, on the verge of losing hope and motivation. A man can only be pushed so far before he breaks. The first trap I checked, nothing. The cheese had been swiped during the night. Dejected, I checked the second trap and again, found it empty. No cheese. As my eyes began to moisten and the real possibility of defeat looming above my head, I checked the third trap and there it was. A sight like no other. A magical moment that Hollywood itself could not recreate. The mouse had been caught! The wire bar had snapped down, breaking his neck instantly, ending the long and grueling war. I sat on my kitchen floor, looking at the fallen mouse, with his eyes bugging out of his head and just reflected on all that had happened during the week. The pain, the suffering, the fear. It was a moment etched in the timeline of my life that will not easily be forgotten. I feel like now that I have won the Mouse War 2014, I can do anything.

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